1.01.2007

oh one/oh one/oh seven

Time to ring in a new year.

My first ponderance, as always seems to be the case when I evaluate my happiness (past or present) is Michelle. She seems happy enough, having completely written me out of her life. Eight years erased in less than six months, but I'm the one trivializing our previous relationship. At any rate, she's happy, so I can continue being happy and start putting the guilt aside. I owe her a lot, but I can't keep crippling my own happiness on an intangible guilt she'll never even know, realize or acknowledge I'm feeling.

Next is family. I can't count the number of times I've heard how much happier I seem now. For the first time in a few years, it didn't feel like a chore to be around my family. It was something I wanted to do. Sitting around, drinking coffee, talking to everyone rather than condescending to them or making esoteric geeky quips that I knew nobody would get but I still found hilarious. I never realized exactly how it had been before, but my mother said a few times while I was home that it was like she had her "old son" back. I guess I was someone else for a while.

Relationship wise, I couldn't be happier. I went on a whole post about that, so it's not like I need to cover the same ground again, but it suffices to say that I'm happier now than I ever knew I could be. I've got someone with whom I can be open and honest, can speak my mind and am rarely left scratching my head saying "what the hell is she thinking?"

Life in general was also discussed in a recent entry. The truncated version is that now I have loyal friends who care about me. I thought I had those before, but was proven wrong in spades over the last six months. Two people that I knew before I moved out here actually made an attempt to get in touch with me, and the one person who I attempted to stay in contact with ignored me. C'est la vie, right? I'm not egomaniacal enough to say "well, their loss, right?" but I'm done losing sleep over the idea.

In short, 2006 ended on an upswing, and 2007 promises to be the best year on record.
posted at 09:24

Lies were told instead.