12.08.2002

I guess the joke gets to continue. This gets to be the outlet for my anger and rage, so that i don't blow a gasket or kill something. Everything in my life seems to be falling apart right now. My roommates seem to be back to their old ways, michelle and i are fighting, the center is boring, and i'm stressed about money. If i don't calm down soon i think i'm going to get very ill. My headaches are getting worse, even though i don't talk about them. I spend the bulk of the day with a blinding headache in the back of my brain that makes me want to do nothing but lay down. I'm not allowed to lay down, tho. I can't be jobless, not in school, AND lazy now can i? Nope.

For some reason, i'm not allowing myself to be happy. I'm not sure how much of this is my situation, and how much is my fault. All i know is that my 2 weeks at home left me feeling emotionally drained, and i want nothing more than to crawl into a shell and die until after x-mas. I'm not allowed to, though, since i have to be strong for chelle. I don't even think SHE reads this anymore. So it's truly a journal now, for nobody to read.

That's pretty much it for tonight, i'm sure i'll be back tomorrow with more.
posted at 23:19

Lies were told instead.